I curse thee, for thou art a hopeless vampire!!

Another vampire book. The tall, lean cute dude with fangs (or in some cases, plain white perfect teeth) fights his inner instincts, to walk on the righteous path with his masochistic, self-sacrificing personality thereby making his author a best-seller writer. Weird.

Historically, when did vamps and werewolves stop being the props of terror or the occasional comedy and divert their potential into being protagonists of sad romance?? I know Hitler dint have anything to do with this. One could argue that they just got more creative, explored possibilities. Yeah, right.

The fact that 20 books being published on the same topic, almost similar storyline and also –wait for it- all 20 becoming or close to being best-sellers :o  is freaking annoying. What have we come to?

Creativity- Dead.

Art- Autopsied

Originality- Buried

Nothing personal, but when your girlfriend goes on and on about an immortal douchebag, you go like “enough already” and take the damn novel and torture yourself for 3 days which you aint ever getting back. And here I am, still breathing, alive and well. Having broadened my perspective and understanding, I present my case.

The most disturbing part’s not even funny. Kids read them, like them and want more. Teens especially. One would think hormones don’t mess with your I.Q and all but I think we need to rethink that concept. Girls, my god, a little observation could tell you Edward Cullen is the saddest vamp in history. Now I usually get the “o you’re just jealous” retort. Yes woman, a 110 year old virgin makes me jealous.

Crappy books have been written in the past but every one of them got the attention they deserved. Very little. So what’s different now?

For one, the new generation. Explanation overdue. You see one thing that struck me about these books is that of the under confident, rejected solitary female protagonist. Not very clear in her own description but clear enough to let every girl on the planet with the above qualities relate to her. No offense to all those fat chicks but yeah, 100 bucks to any of them who says twilight sucks. Depressed and introvert girls, you too. Girls with boyfriend issues sure love the vamp. I guess we rounded up the entire teen female population. Well, explains the book being a best-seller at least. There’s a fine line between fiction and garbage. In case of twilight, Edward is the awesomest dude around. Righteous, self-sacrificing, virtuous (haha) and eternally dumb. Perfect. The patients (chicks with qualities explained above) then get a tendency to realize these demeaning qualities in every guy around, and because we are way better, live in their own bubble increasing the hype, the sales and ushering in new victims to this phenomenon everyday. Rationalized.

On the bright side, these books aren’t that bad. No, they suck, what I mean is that the idea wasn’t bad, especially in twilight. The whole vampire logic was pretty interesting. But the irritating thing there is that it’s being told the wrong way. As in from the head of a sick girl who takes 300 pages to describe how Edward looks in the rain, how he moves, how he eats, talks, runs, drives, burps. If this was a guy and the vamp was some Megan Foxx look alike, then the guy gets labelled as a sad pervert. Sexist society. The plots dint get deep enough, probably due to Bella’s I.Q or that she was busy describing Edward who happened to be George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp with a touch of Morgan Freeman in the same scene. The only character coming close to being real was Jacob, but I was so frustrated by then that even he seemed retarded on some level.

Whatever the case, Twilight, Vampire kisses, Vampire Academy etc. are manipulative works by very smart but hypo-talented writers and they must get credit for at least that. Popularity of these books is explained more by the screwed up society than the sheer creativity on the author’s part. Peace.

P.S- Seriously, no offense to anyone. My sarcasm is harmless, wont bite. You hear fat chicks??

P.P.S- I’m 19. So I am familiar with being a normal teen.